A man in Japan refused to speak to his wife for two decades, even as the couple raised three kids. Reportedly Otou Katayama would only respond to his wife Yumi by grunting or nodding though he maintained a regular relationship with his kids. This ‘silent treatment’ confused his kids and troubled his wife. Eventually, in 2016, the couple’s 18-year-old son wrote to a Japanese TV show that aired on Hokkaido TV and asked the makers to intervene as he had never seen his father interact with their mother. The TV show took up this challenge and spoke to all the parties involved.
When a show’s crew member asked Otou why he was not speaking to his wife, the old man replied that he was “sulking” because he felt neglected as his wife paid more attention to their kids. However, Otou showed some remorse and regretted his behavior upon confrontation. The crew member then showed Otou a video in which Yumi addressed him. Yumi addresses her husband and asks, “How old are you, what is your favorite food, what is your favorite colour?” She then says, “I’m going to tell you my feelings now. I want to have a conversation with you. I’m waiting at Nara Park, will you come?”
The couple then meets at a park as their kids watch them from a distance and listen to their conversation. After showing some hesitance, Otou speaks to his wife and says, “Somehow it’s been a while since we talked. You were so concerned about the kids. Yumi, up until now, you have endured a lot of hardship. I want you to know I’m grateful for everything. I also want to talk after this. I hope we can work together from here.” At this confession, their kids break into tears as they watch their dad speak to their mother directly.
This bizarre instance of Otou Katayama’s prolonged silent treatment often comes up on social media and prompts a conversation on emotional abuse. Recently, UNILAD posted about Otou Katayama and Yumi’s conversation-less marriage on Instagram.
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In the comments many people are quick to point out that refusing to talk to someone for long periods, especially if it is a familial relationship counts as psychological abuse. Referring to Otou’s behavior towards his wife, an Instagram user wrote, “It’s the definition of emotional abuse.” A person described his behavior as “narcissistic”. Another remarked, “This is terrible. I would have gotten a divorce. If he wants to sit in silence he can do that by himself.”